I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
