Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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