The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
