The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
