I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
a search helicopter?!
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
