Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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