Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Couch. On fire.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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