I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
