I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
