ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
