she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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