She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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