found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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