weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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