clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
