we have pet lesbian snakes
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I just cut my nipple shaving
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
