I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
