Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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