I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
