You really coming over, don't trick.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
