Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
