you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
