this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize