He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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