Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
