he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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