you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
