This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
