I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
