office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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