Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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