thus making me awesome and them whores
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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