The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
