hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
