you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
