At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize