I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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