The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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