i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
How external is "for external use only"?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
