Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
