I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Green mimosas i think yes
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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