Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm at about main and main street
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
