Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
