i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
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