Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
