This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
