I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
