you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
