We're like a lot better than the average bears
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So much rum. So many feels.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
