I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
