so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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