Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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