Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
