Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize