we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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