Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
