nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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