Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
