Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
