If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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