My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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