too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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