Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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