wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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